The Beauty in the Beast

of toads and Kathleen Jamie

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I often get to write book reviews on new(ish) releases, but was a few months late coming to Kathleen Jamie’s new collection of essays, Sightlines.

When I was preparing to write A Prickly Affair, my agent, Patrick Walsh, suggested I read Jamie’s previous offering in this form, Findings. I was left feeling nervous that he was expecting me to reach such a level of precision and beauty. Luckily I am in no way tempted to ape her style – her words capture scenes with a high-resolution camera – whether it is the weathered bones of whales or the forensic examination of human organs, she deftly paints scenes with apparent ease.

Her run around the island of Rona, chasing the fins of killer whales, had me reading at a similar breathtaking pace, just to keep up. But the moment that I thrilled most was when, talking about whale-bone iconography (and if you don’t believe it exists, I suggest you read the book) she says. “Toads were said to have a jewel in their heads; render down a whale and what do you find but the arch of a church door.” Just that passing mention was enough – I have come across so few people familiar with the mythology of the toad-stone, it was a delight.

And to cap it all, a few hours later I was gifted a visit from my very own jewel of a toad – Gordon Maclellan, aka Creeping Toad – environmental educator and story-teller beyond compare (and character in The Beauty in the Beast). It was thanks to Gordon that I am now adorned with my own personal toad – he is becoming a work of art himself, a personal bestiary on his skin – and there were new things to show.

Which is all rather delightfully circular, because the next book I am to review is the wondrous creation by Caspar Henderson, ‘The Book of Barely Imagined Beings, A 21st Century Bestiary‘ – which has as its first chapter, a brilliant digression on the improbable axolotl.

Badger cull – how dim can they be?

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When I hear a Government Minister say ‘but the science is clear’, my alarm bells start to ring. Most Ministers know as much about science as I do about how my computer works. But this minister from DEFRA, David Heath, has a background in science – at least to some extent, being a qualified optician. So was there cause for concern with what he said to the BBC yesterday?

Yes. Because he is a politician and yes because he is keen to support his constituents in rural Somerset. Which has left him, despite all he knows about eyes, rather blinded to the real situation.

There have been BIG scientific surveys – and the most recent one (the Randomised Badger Control Trial) concluded that, “It is highly unlikely that reactive culling – as practised in the RBCT – could contribute other than negatively to future TB control strategies” and that “Proactive culling – as practised in the RBCT – is unlikely to contribute effectively to the future control of cattle TB.”

The trials did find that, locally, a 70% effective cull lasting for four years might lead to a 16% reduction in the incidence of bovine TB. Farmers are arguing that this is enough to warrant the expense of a cull.

But I wonder whether there is a subtext? Currently it is difficult for farmers to get rid of badgers – after all, they are an awful nuisance – making holes and possibly spreading disease. Dead badgers are difficult to dispose of – and can lead to prosecutions in rare moments. My wonderful badger-man from The Beauty in the Beast, Gareth Morgan, told me of the awful things that were being done to the badgers while under full protection. How their setts would have slurry pumped into them; how poisoned food would be left for them; how many of the road casualties he saw were rather suspicious – either due to the unsubtle presence of lead shot, or because they were in the wrong place (badgers are creatures of habits and are usually killed on roads at regular crossing points).

When killing badgers becomes acceptable again there will be an inevitable change in the how people react. No longer will it be a shock – it will be the norm. And as the slaughter of wildlife becomes normalised so the massive amount of work done over the last few decades to protect wildlife will unravel.

But back to the science. What David Heath and his masters miss is that for the cull to be effective locally, there needs to be a 70% reduction in the badger population for four years. We do not know how many badgers there are to start with. This is one of the very first lessons anyone looking at wildlife management has to learn – you cannot control a population the size of which you do not know.

And by the time a proper survey has been completed, the vaccines will be ready and we won’t need to engage in wildlife warfare.

This is a cause for which direct action seems appropriate – and there are people out there willing to ensure that badgers are saved. But they should be aware that the Gloucestershire Constabulary has already made it clear that those attempting to stop the slaughter of badgers could be arrest for … … ‘disturbing badgers’.

One thing that can be said for the Government, while they may be losing a grip on science, they have not lost their sense of humour!

As a post script I must add, I am not the world’s greatest badger fan – for those of you who have read A Prickly Affair, you will realise that they sometimes have a rather poor relationship with hedgehogs (from the perspective of the hedgehog that is) … this relationship is complicated – and the BHPS and the PTES are currently funding a PhD that might help unravel what is going on and possibly enable us to find a way of helping to re-establish more of a balance in nature.

 

 

What a weekend …

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On Friday I got a ‘google alert’ (I get my ego massaged (occasionally) by this wonderful device that I have set to my name) telling me I had been mentioned in the Church Times. It was referring to my performance the previous weekend at the Greenbelt festival. I had been concerned about talking to a crowd of evangelical Christians, that is not my usual audience. And at 5 minutes to show time, when I was already plugged in to my ‘Madonna mic’ (that is what the technician’s there called it …), this was my audience:

What the organisers had not told me was that the doors were shut and, as I returned from a breath of fresh air (and a thought about running away) a stream of people flooded into the room … 255 in total (no, I was not bored and counting during my talk, they had someone on the door with a clicker!)

But back to the review, “Warwick believes that any creature can be a gateway to the love of nature. Meeting a bird or animal close at hand, you gain a precious glimpse of wildness. It’s an almost mystical experience…” I really enjoyed Greenbelt and have asked to come back next year … it is not often you get to preach hedgehog (and other lovely animals) to such a crowd.

Next up on Friday I was asked to pen a quick note for Meet the Species – a final component of the amazing project that also manages the Bristol Festival of Nature – The Bristol Natural History Consortium. So here is that piece – and, to my surprise, I found that they published it with a video of me talking at the Wilderness Festival – a spontaneous (and rather noisy) show ably assisted by the remarkable Amalie.

And on Friday I was also asked if I would help Anne Brummer from the Harper Asprey Wildlife Rescue with Wildlife Rocks. I had originally been asked to do a hedgehog talk at this event inspired by Brian May (and you can read more about him in my Olympic Blog) – but then she asked if I would step in and do a little compering … now I was given advice by an experienced wildlife/media person … ‘never say no’ … so I said yes, of course, I would love to … Anne was pleased and I put the phone down thinking ‘oh *&^^$&*’ … in less than 24 hours I would have to learn a new skill. Thankfully my neighbour is the absurdly talented Steve Larkin, stand-up poet, musician and compere beyond compare.

As I arrived at Guildford Cathedral I saw Brian May walking with Anne around the stalls. She beckoned me over and asked me to join the small crowd as she wanted to explain a little more of what was planned for the day – turns out I was not to ‘help’ with the compering but to DO IT – oh, and while there would be the usual thanks and welcomings to do, sometimes there would be a bit of time to fill in – as people got themselves set up … and there were around 24 separate events … so, no challenge there then!

Walking with them was Gavin Grant, CEO of the RSPCA. He impressed me enormously, walking straight over to the Hunt Sabs stall and chatting with them – he is obviously not frightened of the more activist sides of the animal world. And then his talk inside was a brilliant attack on many key issues – including the planned culling of badgers and, delightfully, the fact that the RSPCA is not just taking individual huntsmen to court for breaking the law, but also the hunt itself …and the hunt in question just happens to be the one that David Cameron loves to play with, the Heythrop Hunt. And when they win (well, lets hope) they will seek to rehome the horses and hounds, and sell off the buildings.

So my job was to bounce onto stage, say thank you (often to the amazing YEM Youth Theatre) and then chat to the crowd in the Cathedral for up to ten minutes … I think I managed to hold it together, it was a fantastic experience to have to think on my feet so fast – and also to be meeting the artist David Shepherd, Will Travers from the Born Free Foundation and the actor Peter Egans among many other. Perhaps the highlight, though, was rather predictable … when Brian May took to the stage with Kerry Ellis to perform to an absolutely packed cathedral.

I had forgotten about how famous Brian May is … and after the event he was sitting in an outside tent meeting and greeting and the queue was epic. An hour later his ‘people’ said enough was enough (he was looking exhausted) – but he still had time to help me with a publicity shot to help promote The Beauty in the Beast.

What a wonderful day – I really hope that they are able to hold another event next year, and then I might get to see some of what was going on! Though it was a rather fun challenge introducing each guest and trying to get a mention of hedgehogs and the British Hedgehog Preservation Society each time!

And as if that was not all enough, last night Countryfile on BBC 1 showed the piece they filmed with me a couple of weeks ago about Hedgehog Street. I was a little nervous – I was filmed for Blue Peter a while back and they ended up using less than one sentence. But this time it was great, the programme opened with the hedgehog piece and we got to talk about the major concerns we have for hedgehogs as well as the potential solutions.

To add icing to the cake, they also covered Ivan Wright, the solitary bee man from my book!

You can have a look at the programme for the next 6 days on iPlayer: Countryfile hedgehog programme

And because I like an easy life … I am off to the woods with the children now, then dancing and tomorrow – off to a conference all about hedges …

Olympic hedgehogs

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One of the least talked about aspects of the all-consuming Olympics has been the apparent absence of hedgehogs. This is not to say that the Olympics were without charm. The opening ceremony revealed a double-act as wonderful as Morecambe and Wise – the Rattle and Bean show. And the when Mary Poppins rescued the NHS from the Tories I was giddy with delight (though I think I had drunk a glass of cider by then).

The radiance of Mo’s smile and lightening Bolt’s relaxed chatting up of a track attendant – along with all the tears from people who can do so much more than I could ever dream – the bits I saw were fun. But, here was the Olympics taking place in the home of the hedgehog (I know there are hedgehogs all over Europe, Asia and Africa, but we pay more attention to them) and this most iconic of species was significantly missing.

In fact I had given up any hope of seeing evidence of a hedgehog when I settled down to catch some of the closing ceremony. What a ceremony, as different to the clever opening as possible. Many of the most interesting contributors were on tape, and while it was great to have a little Python, the opportunity to do a Boyle and use the song to attack the Romans was missed, and, as Chris TT wrote in his searing critique – while the opening ceremony embraced every culture, here the ‘exotic’ drummers were clearly ‘different’.

Then there was a little bit of fun, I have always had a soft spot for Queen – and Brian May in particular. His unflashy playing of the guitar carries a great deal of heart – and what a lot of noise one man can make. Then as some woman joined him on stage I noticed something on the shoulders of his coat. On his left, a picture of a badger, and on the right, a fox.

Because there is more to May than brilliance at the guitar (and a PhD in Astrophysics) – he also cares about wildlife. Cares? That is not strong enough. He has a deep love of the natural world with which I can relate and he is using his considerable pulling power to raise awareness of the threats these wonderful animals face. He has set up a campaigning organisation ‘Save Me’ which has been vocal in its opposition to the badger cull – hence the badger on his sleeve. And he is also rallying support to oppose a return to fox hunting, something that many of the Tories would love.

Bri’s highly visible protest (watched by an estimated 26 million people in the UK) has raised a storm of protest in the farming press. But … still no hedgehog?

Then there was a shot from the back as he played – there was another image on his jacket – but we never got a good look at it. Perhaps it was just decoration? But that seemed unlikely given the clear intent of the other images.

I scoured the internet for photographs to see if I could get a clear view – in the end it was Bri’s charity that supplied the answer. The image contained a Buzzard, two herons, an adder and … a hedgehog. Brian May, you are truly wonderful.

If that was not enough hedgehog-excitement for one night, as the great multi-flamed cauldron began to open out as part of the final ritual it dawned on me, there it was, one great big fiery hedgehog. It had been there, curled up, all along. And I had not been drinking either!

Gareth Morgan, badger-man

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Last night I learned that my badger-man and friend, Gareth Morgan, had died.

I met Gareth as I was writing The Beauty in the Beast – he took me to the sett he had been studying for the past 30 years and talked so lovingly and movingly about the beautiful animals. He loved them, and nature, with a passion and a deep, wise, knowledge.

mid-Wales badger-man

Though he was a very gentle man, buzzing with an energy belying his 70 years, he could be moved to anger and action. As it was in protection of the badgers he loved, when he spoke out about the plans to cull. His anger was directed in large part not at the farmers, but at the supermarket chains that bind farmers into impossible contracts so that they pay the farmer less for the milk than it costs to produce. We walked the fields of his mid-Wales home and he pointed to the grass in what seemed like a idyllic field. But no, his sharp eyes had noted just one species of grass. ‘I detest silage,’ he said. ‘I think it is the worst thing that happened in farming, because that’s why we have no flowers…That is why we have no birds nesting in the fields…This is like Astroturf.’ And there is evidence that the poor quality of food this produces has an impact on the cows and the badgers, increasing the risk of bovine TB.

But mostly, as we sat and watched his badgers come within a few feet of us, it was love that drove him. ‘I love them like I love my wife,’ he told me, without a hint of hyperbole. ‘Sometimes she will ask me not to go up on a night, but it is like a magnet, something pulls me…she thinks I am setts mad.’

I recorded the time we spent together and have made a short podcast of him talking about badgers and featuring his amazing voice – I could listen to him for hours.

It was not just badgers, he was in love with the natural world. And so it was that his last outing, when he died, was to  the osprey project he so loved near Machynlleth. His wife, Marion, told me that he died doing something he loved. And he will be buried in the clothes he wore out in the wilds – his camouflage trousers, old jumper and body-warmer and ‘his dirty old cap’. There will be wild flowers at the funeral and they have had to book the biggest church in Newtown, such was the impact that this wonderful man had on so many people.

I will close this with a few more words he gave me.

‘We’ve got to fall in love with nature. And my badgers and your hedgehogs, they are like gatekeepers to the wider wonder of the natural world. I bring people down here at eight o’clock for an hour and I find I am still here at one in the morning. I get the barn owls quartering the field, probably hunting for the woodmouse that sometimes sits on my knee. And then there was the stag beetle that would come and take peanuts, one at a time. You know, there was a blackbird who would sit on my shoulder and a chaffinch who would follow me from the car to the sett where he would wait for a peanut.’

‘We should be in love with nature; it’s all we have got. I’m coming on seventy now, and I’m not going to be here soon. But for my children and for theirs, we have to do something.’

Dear Gareth, you will be missed.

 

 

Hugh Warwick Revealed

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Yes – you read that right, I am about to reveal myself ….

A while ago my publishers sent me an enormously long list of impossible questions about myself that I was assured would assist you, the buying public, in deciding to part with hard-earned cash … I was not sure, but went for it – and then, recently, I found that these questions have been incorporated into a website … so here is the most egotistical of posts ….

But then I read through it, and was surprised by what I had written … some of the questions had required far too much thought … others generated answers with which I am quite pleased. So – just in case any of you are wondering what to do with the next 5 minutes – why not have a bash at re-writing them for me! Find ways that will make me more appealing … this could be like a Wiki exercise in crowd-sourced information … and if we make it good enough, well, there will be no stopping me … the world will be mine, all mine …. (exit with megalomaniac laughter still ringing)

cuddles with hedgehogs and other adventures

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Just back from the Bristol Festival of Nature and now preparing to go head-to-head with the wonderful Kate Long in a face-off between hedgehogs and water voles … who will win? Why not come and join the fun! Then it is off to Edinburgh with extInked to reveal my leg to the unwitting visitors to the Botanic Gardens.

The Bristol event was a lot of fun and a clear reminder that behind the impressive viewing figures for Springwatch and other BBC wildlife programmes there are real, active people who have a passion to learn more about the world around them.

Before my talk I was interviewed on the BIG SCREEN …. never before have I been so large!

 

You can just make me out in the top right hand corner!

But it was after my talk about The Beauty in the Beast that the real business began – and it was a salutary lesson. I got a good audience and they asked sensible questions, but when I settled down in the tent with the wonderful People’s Trust for Endangered Species crowds swarmed in …. the reason?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Simple – I was ‘with hedgehog‘ … the lesson learned for me is that however good a talk I give I can never compete with the thrill of meeting a real live hedgehog. This one, Holly, was being looked after by Mary from Hedgehog Rescue. I do not want to become a hedgehog carer, I simple do not have the capacity to manage that demanding job. And I do not want a ‘pet hedgehog’. But I also recognise that the amount of information I could impart to an audience would be enormously increased if I had grabbed their attention with a real live spiky hog …. so has anyone got a brilliant solution to this conundrum?

Get stuffed …

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Nature vs nurture?

Before I had children I was rather convinced by the nurturing arguments – but that has been revealed to me as little more than the arrogance of youth! Yes, of course, there is some impact on the child in the way they are brought up – but it is not the whole story.

And how is that related to taxidermy?

Because the more I have got to know my biological mother the more I find out that we are linked in ways that could not have anything to do with nurture – she had just ten days to imprint her character on me … and I can hardly remember what happened ten days ago, let alone in my very first ten days on the planet!

I went to visit her last week and took, as requested, my stuffed hedgehog (about which I wrote a while ago) because she had someone who wanted to meet it …

For many many years her nickname has been ‘badger’ and when a friend found this stuffed one in a house clearance sale, well … it was irresistible. And I got to pose between an asymmetric intraguild predatory relationship …. which, when you have read The Beauty in the Beast, you will recognise as being related to a rather smutty joke.

So it is not a rigorous scientific survey – but over four decades apart and we both have a desire for stuffed British wildlife … along with a passion for music. And apparently I laugh like her father, but at the things her mother found funny. And much more besides. And now she wants a hedgehog too – so if anyone out there has a nice example of prickly taxidermy they want to be rid of, please drop me a line!

Hedgehog beer

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It was with no small degree of trepidation that I poured my first glass of ‘Old Prickly’ – the Snuffly Hedge Grog from the Hobsons brewery of Cleobury Mortimer, Shropshire. Brewed to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the founding of the British Hedgehog Preservation Society, the ale was lighter in colour than I thought it would be. And there was a pleasing aroma as I took a deep breath.

I love a good beer, so why be worried?

Because I have been somewhere very similar before. Have a look at my piece on hedgehog whisky to see why … and you might understand why. In fact in the blog entry I was a little polite to the drink. On revisiting it I can attest it to be one of the foulest excrescences – rarely have I seen anyone finish even the the merest dampening of a glass without a grimace.

So what would the beer hold? On its arrival I was excited ….

Continue reading →

A few reviews

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I was rummaging through a pile of unfiled paper on my desk and came across a copy of The Lady from April 2010. The magazine was in my mind already as they have just published a very pleasing review of The Beauty in the Beast – apparently I have ‘some fine stylistic touches too – a bumblebee is ‘furry, like an impossibly light mouse‘.’ and that the book should be ‘Read it in the garden, with the sun on your face and perhaps be spurred on to help protect Britain’s most vulnerable species.’

So as I flicked through the pages of horse riding poshness I was thrilled to be reminded that they had reviewed A Prickly Affair … and described it as a ‘quirky, entertaining, mad, informative and ultimately serious book…‘ which I have to say rather got it I reckon! Continue reading →